He was supposed to swoon.
He was supposed to walk through the door, drop his flight bag and positively swoon at the sight of the house. The (newly) clutter free house. The one he’s lived in, along with the clutter, going on 20 years.
And then he was supposed to lovingly run his long fingers over the bare clutter free freshly oiled soapstone countertops and say, in a Cary Grant-ish sort of way, “Dah-ling, (Thirty-two years of marriage and he’s never called me Dah-ling, never, not once, but he would for this because it’s THAT special) Dah-ling, WHAT have you done to the house??? It’s simply mah-valous!”
That’s what he was supposed to do. That was the scene I envisioned.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!! Silly me. Because this is how it went down:
He walks through the door after being gone nearly two weeks, the first two weeks of my self-imposed Clearing Space Challenge, the one I didn’t tell him about other than to warn him not to bring more crap home. He walks through the door and is attacked by two yappy little dogs who adore their dad. They throw themselves on him, then just as quickly run into the kitchen where I’m dismembering a rotisserie chicken. Because as much as they love their dad, MOM HAS CHICKEN!!!
I wasn’t expecting him for dinner so I’m just standing there at the counter going all primal on crispy bird parts right out of the carton, no plate or utensils involved. But unlike the dogs I know where my priorities are. So I dash into the hall, drumstick still in hand, and greet him with a nice greasy chicken lips kiss.
Mmmmmmmmmm….
I ask if he wants dinner and he says that would be nice but first he’s got to pee. He bolts off to the the potty, the one in the bedroom and I’m so excited because I’m figuring he may not have noticed that the living room, dining room and kitchen are all nice and tidy but he’s bound to notice the bedroom. And when he hits the bathroom, the one I actually scrubbed down today with the all natural grapefruit-lemongrass cleanser that smells so good, he will discover that we have white sinks–WHITE, not beige like they’ve been forever. And when he realizes he can actually SEE his reflection in the mirror (imagine that!!!) he will fall on his knees in appreciation.
He will swoon.
So I’m thinking this as I’m tossing a salad together. Humming a little ditty to myself because I’m feeling a bit like I did when the kids were little and I knew what Santa brought them for Christmas. Anticipatory glee, the best kind.
And then he comes out and he’s standing in front of the TOTALLY CLEAR breakfast bar. Well, totally clear except for two dinosaurs, a heart rock and the phone. He’s just standing there watching me make the salad. Making small talk.
But I don’t want no stinkin’ small talk . . . I want recognition!
So I ask casually (with my shiny chicken grease lips) “Notice anything?”
He gets that look on his face that tells me he’s thinking. It’s the same look babies have when they’re pooping their pants. And then he says, “I notice it smells like you’ve been cleaning?” He says this with a question mark at the end, hoping it’s the right answer.
SMELLS like??? Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!! Silly me. Because. This. Is. How. He. Is.
He doesn’t notice the ABSENCE of clutter because he doesn’t SEE the clutter to begin with.
Which only goes to show. . . I’m doing this project for ME. For MYSELF.
Maybe in time he’ll grow to appreciate it. Eventually perhaps it will become his new normal. The new normal. I have hope. More than hope.
Because sometime during the evening, between starting to write this post and getting up for a cup of tea, I couldn’t help but notice the papers that had been in a messy scatter around his computer were in a neat and tidy pile, the corners lined up just so. Or almost just so.
And I had nothing to do with it.
Ahhhhh . . . Exhale.
Okay, so now I KNOW I’m doing this project for myself. And I’m loving my clear space, I surely am. But I could still use some kudos for cleaning in the comments below. Or whatever else that’s on your mind.
xoxo
Too funny and ever so typical. These guys don’t notice the clutter or the clean — I guess that’s good.
YAY to you for clearing the space! Kudos!
Judy Shreve recently posted..Sanctuary
You’re right, they just don’t notice. But I can guarantee he would’ve noticed if I’d made cookies, Judy.
Priorities 🙂
LOL – ok, I’ll give you a gold star for cleaning, but I’m going to give your husband TWO gold stars for being such a wonderfully typical male!
There’s no point in cleaning for them, because they just don’t notice!
But yes, they’d notice cookies!
sue:)
My mother’s philosophy for a happy marriage, Sue–feed the beast 🙂
Yes, always do it for yourself. That’s the best kind of recognition (and that he cleaned up his own pile). After this move, I have vowed to declutter…to simplify…I’m not planning to move again any time soon but I definitely know not only do I not want to move all this crap again…I don’t want to live with it either! Rock on!
Michele Bergh recently posted..Uggg…It’s Cold Outside
I’m benefitting from this challenge, Michelle. I’m beyond happy with what I’ve done so far and I’m gaining some sort of peaceful empowerment every time I look around and feel good about what I see.
As for my husband, well I’ll just keep him fed.
There’s nothing like moving to make you think twice about what you have 🙂
I read the greatest definition of clutter: clutter is whatever keeps you from living the life you want to live. So, the stuff piled in the living room is clutter to me, but not my husband, because I clean around it. But the clutter in the kitchen bothers him because he wants to eat NOW, whereas I know it’s necessary to cooking. And, KUDOS big time for clearing your space for you. 🙂
Linda Watson recently posted..A Skein, A Winder and Silence
I LOVE that definition, Linda. Releasing all the ‘stuff’ is freeing me to move forward. I didn’t realize how much it was holding me back in so many ways. Nothing holds my husband back and that’s probably why it doesn’t bother him.
LOL – sorry you didn’t get your Dah-ling, but you’re getting my recognition for a gorgeous well-done job. And I love the dinos gracing the breakfast bar – I’m sure they noticed as well.
Deborah Weber recently posted..Love: P is for…
Thank you Dah-ling Deborah, I am now fulfilled 🙂
Congratulations and 10 stars for you Susan! You make me want to get my decluttering started. I need my office space back, so I stop working in our living room.
Cindy Mihalko recently posted..Bridal Shower Gift Ideas
Then go for it Cindy! Little bites aren’t nearly as scary as tacking it all at once. Fifteen minutes a day can really make a difference.
🙂
Amazing job on your house, Susan! Even through the pictures I can feel the clearing you’ve created in your space by cleaning out the clutter. I loved that you recognized you’re doing this for yourself. I have no doubt that it’ll rub off even more on your husband, though. I love your writing, by the way! Are you also a writer?.. if not, you should be 🙂
Mayan recently posted..How to Let Go of Old Beliefs
Knowing I’m doing it for myself motivates me even more, Mayan. That’s probably from being the youngest and not liking people telling me what to do.
Thanks for the writing compliment. Yes, I am a writer as well as a painter, a situation that’s caused no end of confusion when it comes to focusing on what I’m doing with my life. 🙂
Hahahaha! Man alive. It is the same with my children. Well my daughter would notice but not my son. Love the photos – so, so inspiring yet again. My cleanup challenge is back home waiting for me. Have you any idea where my knitting utensils bag is? Can’t find it for the life of me. However, am pleased to report I did find my missing necklace.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted..Lost and Found
ha! I found the ipod that disappeared three years ago 🙂
such a great lesson for all of us!! I noticed, though, your house looks lovely! 🙂
ann saylor recently posted..Valentine breakfast pancakes
Thank you Ann. It’s easier to see the lovely when it’s clean 🙂
I read this and found myself laughing out loud. My dogs even looked up at me wondering what it was I was finding so funny. I think you and me have the same husbands.
Terrific post – :-)!!!
Same husbands? Hmmm…he does travel a lot 🙂
Oh Dah-ling, your house does look incredible and I am coveting your beautiful countertops. My husband also doesn’t notice clutter or when I spend hours and hours cleaning up, but I do it for me (when I remember to!). High five for the adorable dinos 🙂
Christie Ingram recently posted..It’s been a Long Month
I got those beautiful countertops because the original ones shattered after I used them for an ironing board for an art project, Christie. Oops! They were fine while I was ironing but the next day…oh well, they were ugly suckers, boring beige. We got the soapstone because it’s totally heat proof and Mr. Spouse was concerned that I hadn’t quite learned the lesson about hot things. They used to make the HS chem lab tables out of soapstone, and in Norway, where my sister lives, they use it in the wood stoves.
My goodness! This HOUSE! This house has been TRANSFORMED! Oh, my sweetest chocolately cupcake, you have fulfilled my greatest dreams! Gone is the lumpy landscape of ludicrous lollygagging flotsam! Now our surfaces stretch toward the horizon. Shall we ride off into the sunset on our counters together?
(Actually, I think your husband is awesome. How cool is it that, after two weeks on the road, he could smell that you had been cleaning [over the scent of rotisserie chicken, no less]?)
Yee-haw! Giddyup!!! Ride those counters ladies!!! 🙂
My husband is cool 🙂 🙂 a declaration which calls for TWO smiley faces
Ah well. Expectations are the worst. Just enjoy it for yourself, dahling. 🙂
Naomi recently posted..Alaska excursions: White Pass Scenic Railway
I always enjoy myself, Naomi 🙂
Laughing….I seem to be in the same sort of pattern as you this month. I’ve been working on my office. Just got done posting my blog. I’m sure enjoying my clean space. Enjoy yours dahling. 🙂
Oh, I AM enjoying it Kelli. Makes me feel so good to look around and not see chaos.
Recognition is a funny thing. We want the credit and many times don’t get it. I guess it is good to just do things without the expectation of acknowledgment.
Absolutely, Charles. Doing something because it makes us feel good to do it is its own reward.
It’s best to do things for yourself! While you can’t ignore the needs of your spouse or loved ones – if it’s important to you, that’s all that matters. Good for you for not getting discouraged and keeping up with being proud of your hard work.
Tiffany recently posted..Thinking Out Loud #1
I’m my own best cheering squad, Tiffany, especially when it comes to things on the domestic front. 🙂
YAY you! I love that you have cleared your space for you and HOORAY for your dedication to yourself. My husband is the same way…he just doesn’t notice the clutter, clearing or the calm it has over me. Or maybe he does and he just doesn’t say anything!
Michelle recently posted..Call Me Geppetto
I think it’s a guy thing, Michelle 🙂
well Susan my husband is the same way. And no, we don’t do it for them, we do it for US. My hubby cleaned off his desk after I cleaned out the stuff in the kitchen. That has to be the reward. LOL
So true Lindy, so true!