Warning: The post you are about to read was written under the influence of an unholy amount of sugar coursing through my veins. I am not responsible for a single offending thing I say in this post.
Or EVER, for that matter.
I’m writing this post on Easter Sunday. This is the most holy of days in the Christian calendar. On the O’Holy o’meter it’s OFF. THE. CHARTS. Which is why Christians everywhere engage in ritual sacrifice of rabbits and chickens on this most sacred of days. To celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.
What’s not to celebrate? I’d come back for chocolate too.
Pause here to bow your head and genuflect. Show some respect. Because those cute little critters down below… they’re about to have their HEADS EATEN OFF. And they haven’t a clue.
They are the innocents. Who. MUST. Die. For us.
Look at them. So…cheerful. So unsuspecting. Well, maybe not the bunny. Her smile looks rather forced to me. And WHAT is that she’s clutching? OMG! A little purse. She thinks she’s going shopping. Or to the movies. Oh, why doesn’t someone SAVE her??? Where is PETA (Confectionery division) when you need them? Where?
Because if someone doesn’t STOP ME, I will do what I was raised to do. WITH THE CHURCH’S BLESSING!!!
Starting with the ears. I will break them off her tiny little head with my bare hands. Just. Like. That. And then, as she watches (still smiling but it’s a horrified smile) I will BITE PEEP’S HEAD OFF. And. Swallow. It. Whole.
And then I’ll get back to Miss Bunny….
But I will spare you the details. It’s not a pretty sight but it MUST BE DONE. To honor new life. New beginnings. The glories of spring.
Unless you live in the southern hemisphere. Where Easter co-insides with the decent into the hell of winter. That REALLY sucks theologically, doesn’t it? You want my advice? Go eat a chocolate ‘roo. It’ll make you feel better. Maybe.
Change of topic:
Put a couple of albums of art up on my FaceBook page. It’s like an Arty Life Lite. Kind of. Come on over and check it out. And while you’re there, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLUH-ESE click the ‘like’ button on the top of the page. ‘Cause that Zuckerberg kid said I could trade them in for a PONY when I get enough of ’em.
You are worse than a Murderer…you are a murdering CANNIBAL! ;o}
Urrrp…
smiling….
I want a free pony too!!
haha–got a couple for you right here, mel!