This is Jen. She’s going to show you how to use purple eye shadow so you can look like JUST. LIKE. ME. Except I have green eyes. Sometimes they’re blue. But this week one of them was black. Which means it was purple, just like Jen’s.

You don’t have to play it. Unless you want to lear how to look like Jen. And me. Just look at the picture. Yep, Umm-hmm…I’ve been walking around with one of those this past week.

You want to know how I got it? C’mon, of course you do. Say it. Just say it say it say it. Holy crap, Susan! How DID you get that black eye???

Heh…heh…well, I’m not gonna tell you. Not straight out anyway. I’m gonna make you guess. You’ll appreciate the answer much better if you have to work for it, trust me. And you’ll find it in one of the questions down below.

Was it a bar fight with a biker chick?

Maybe….

A few too many green beers on St. Patty’s and you don’t remember? Honestly don’t remember? You’re not being coy or anything?

Umm…quite possibly….

Close quarters in the Tae Bo class?

Could be….

Knocked heads with one of the ponies?

Perhaps….

Umm…you and Mr. Spouse…?

Don’t. Even. Go. There. No no nada nyet!

DaughterDear did the dishes UNASKED (Gasp!!!) and you were so taken aback you moved quickly, slipped on the wet floor (because Daughter Dear is an enthusiastic rinser) and FELL FACE FIRST into an elbow. Hers?

Umm…shrug….

There was only ONE Monkees CD left at KMart and things got, umm…a little out of hand? And it was in the Policer Blotter on Tuesday? Go ahead, look it up. I’ll wait.

Feasible….

Harriet didn’t believe you got 66 points for PHIZ without cheating in Scrabble?

66 Points? Even I wouldn’t believe that…

They’re REALLY starting to enforce that 10 items or less rule in the express line?

It’s about time….

Took ‘Head to Knee’ pose in yoga a bit too literally?

Could be….

So tell me which one you think it is in the comments below. Better yet, come up with more to add to the list. Because as the theoretical physicists would say, they ALL happened. IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE. So really, there can be no. wrong. answer.